Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
