Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i think i just lost a toe
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
