I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
