she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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