You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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