2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
