found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
