"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
