What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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