he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
