I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
