Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
