I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
