I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sponge bath it is.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
