I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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