someone get that fucking seahorse.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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