everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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