More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i wish my penis had a tongue
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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