My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
