I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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