I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
