All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
