I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
