3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
