how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
