mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
