That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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