The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
