Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
