Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
