we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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