Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm always down for nudity.
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