Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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