I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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