Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
