I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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