he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
