i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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