whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
