Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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