do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
