What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It's just like the Real World with babies
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
