He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
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