my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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