I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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