Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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