my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
