is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
