i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
