let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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